


50 texts the boss didn’t want to get

by llamabunnybird



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Dorks, Gen, Humor, List Fic, Noodle Incidents, Sorry Not Sorry, You Don't Want to Know, the boss needs a drink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 15:32:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2155773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llamabunnybird/pseuds/llamabunnybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America's boss didn't sign up for this.  Preserve and protect sure. Random texts at 2AM about painting Greece's cats blue? not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 texts the boss didn’t want to get

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [50 things the Boss should know(or how not to get driven insane by your country)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/987188) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> This is set in the same universe as '50 things the boss should know (Or how to not be driven insane by your country)' I got permission from the author before they abandoned that work. If you haven’t read it you should totally go read it because it is funny as hell!

1) Hey sir just wondering if you had seen a bunny hopping around the garden? Big bushy eyebrows?  
2) No don’t call the Queen!!! I’m sure he’ll change back soon!!   
3) No you don’t want to know why or how these things happen  
4) Tony is a very good babysitter and I’m sure the kids are loving his tour of the universe  
5) If Germany asks I was at home reading last night  
6) Why do you think I need an alibi?   
7) I may have convinced the Italian Np to do a striptease at the bar?  
8) Herr President this is the German Np please inform Alfred that the next time he wants to visit Germany the answer is NIEN  
9) Tu niedaleko jest fajna knajpka. Idziemy?  
10) No I don’t know why Poland is texting you about going to a bar  
11) He meant to text me apparently he has you down as “America’s fashion impaired boss)   
12) Hey its better than what he had on the last one! I think your predecessor was “America’s bald boss”  
13) Lithuania says you are of course invited to come to the bar with us  
14) I know I know. You aren’t posting bail.  
15) How much trouble will I get in for setting France on fire  
16) Um perdone senor this is the Spanish Np just letting you know we stopped America from setting Francis on fire (again)  
17) Well he was hitting on Arthur and Alfred was upset about the fact that Francis was seizing his amore’s vital regions  
18) Sorry for the late night phone call  
19) Next time I’ll just call Canada  
20) No don’t call him! He’ll hit me with his hockey stick!  
21) I thought you swore to ‘serve and protect’ not turn me in to my bro!  
22) Bonjour Mr. President I hope Alfred is okay  
23) I didn’t paint Greece’s cats blue  
24) No I swear I didn’t!!!  
25) Told you so  
26) Eh Prussia is still a semi immortal being he should be fine  
27) Is it Romano’s mafia or Kiku’s that cut off fingers?  
28) Well I am rather fond of Hawaii  
29) Is now really the best time to comment on my anatomy?  
30) I might have volunteered to help the mafia?  
31) Well I have friends from the prohibition era and shit so I thought it would be fun to re live the glory days  
32) I am very sorry Sir we will make sure to ship him home as soon as is possible  
33) Tell the kids I’m out of town  
34) Well Patty is upset that I missed her birthday and Debbie is mad because I forgot to remind Virginia to feed the dogs.   
35) I’m sorry that you have 12 states in the living room  
36) No I will not come out of the bunker  
37) I dealt with them in 1776 do you have any idea how much of a pain that was?  
38) I hate you so much  
39) Hi this is Vermont (Victor) we grabbed dad if you don’t see him for a few weeks its because we are reminding him about states rights and shit  
40) Can we pretend last week never happened?  
41) It could be worse. I mean Arthur has Wales and Scotland to deal with and they all do magic  
42) Actually that probably explains the rabbit incident in retrospect  
43) He thinks the giant squid is his friend  
44) Sir the odds that Denmark actually does know the Kraken is actually pretty high  
45) I mean Vikings and shit right?  
46) Japan is bringing some movies over tonight  
47) No I will not teleport to check on you vacation home  
48) And you tell me about frivolous use of power   
49) I’m sorry your house got taken out by a hurricane  
50) How many years do you have left?


End file.
